Various Documents

This is my collection of mostly useless, diverse documents in Portable Document Format (PDF), also known as Adobe Acrobat format. If you don’t know what PDF is, I can explain it, if you wish.

Obviously, you can view and print these documents. Some of them also might make for some fairly irreverent wallpaper for your PC; I can explain how to convert documents that you might like to see as wallpaper, if you wish. Some documents are already available as wallpaper, where noted.

Anyway, below you’ll find the very small selection of documents that I have at the moment. Click on the titles or thumbnail images (where provided) for the document that interests you in order to retrieve the real thing in PDF format. PDF files are very compact, so they download very quickly. I’ve divided the documents into five categories: Classic Literature, General-Purpose Signs, Weird Stuff, Educational Stuff, French Stuff, American Stuff, and Essays. All of the documents in the first category are released to the public domain (or are already in the public domain) and contain no copyrighted material, to the best of my knowledge. You can use and abuse them to your heart’s content. The documents in the remaining categories are copyrighted by me; you can download them for your own personal use, but for any other use, you must contact me for permission in advance (unless otherwise indicated in the descriptions below).

Some of these documents are in color. If you do not have a color printer, you can still print them, but obviously the colors will be printed as shades of gray, not as the original colors you see on the screen. Most of these documents are also designed for Letter-size paper, in deference to the preponderance of American visitors to my site; however, you should still be able to print them on A4-size (European) paper, with most printers. For each document, I indicate the size of the file and the approximate download time for a 28.8-Kbps modem.

If there is a simple document that you’d like to see that isn’t already here, send me some feedback describing it and maybe I can fix it up and post it here (no guarantees, though).

Classic Literature

… A Christmas Carol Charles Dickens (363 KB / 148x210 A5 “paperback” format, 3 colors, 82 pages, no illustrations) Written by Charles Dickens 150 years ago, A Christmas Carol is certainly the best-known and best-loved story about Christmas in English literature. I’ve provided the complete text here, for your enjoyment. It seems to be one of those stories that one never tires of reading. And those of you who have seen only adaptations and never read the original novel may find it especially pleasant reading. This document is formatted just like a book, complete with covers. Conceivably you can print it off with a nice printer and have a hard copy to add to your library (not fancy, but free!).   … The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Robert Louis Stevenson (378 KB / 148x210 A5 “paperback” format, 3 colors, 74 pages, no illustrations) This is Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic science-fiction story about a doctor who discovers a way to create a second, evil version of himself through the use of a special potion of his own invention. It’s an excellent and very readable book, and still quite fascinating, even though everyone knows how it ends today. It must have been even more interesting when first published, since the fact that Jekyll and Hyde are the same person is not revealed until very near the end of the book. Like A Christmas Carol, this is one of those stories that everyone has encountered in innumerable adaptions, but relatively few have actually read in the original.

General-Purpose Signs

… “No Smoking” sign with symbol (4 KB / A4-size paper, landscape orientation / 3 colors) This is a simple “No Smoking” sign, with a no-smoking symbol over the text. Great for giving subtle hints to coworkers or family members walking into your room or office.   … “No Smoking” sign with symbol in French (4 KB / A4-size paper, landscape orientation / 3 colors) This is a “No Smoking” sign in French, with a no-smoking symbol over the text, and a reference to the law in France that prohibits smoking in public places (effective February 1, 2007). Useful if you live in France and you're trying to keep people from smoking (not an easy task, since the French aren't very good at obeying laws).   … “No Cellphones” sign with symbol (6 KB / Letter-size paper, landscape orientation / 2 colors) This is a simple “No Cellphones” sign for prohibiting the use of cellular telephones, with a red interdiction circle over a symbolic image of a cellular telephone. Good for preventing people from using cellphones in your office, place of business, or other area.   … “Set to Vibrate” sign with symbols (17 KB / A4-size paper, landscape orientation / 2 colors) This sign tells people to set their cellphones to vibrate instead of ring.

Weird Stuff

… Fallout Shelter Sign (8 KB / 10" x 14" full-size / 2 colors) Are you old enough to remember the Cuban Missile Crisis? If so, you may feel a certain chilling twinge of nostalgia looking at this sign. It’s the sign that appeared on large buildings and other structures in which special shelters to protect against the radioactive fallout from nuclear explosions had been set up. Most of the shelters have been decommissioned today, but you still occasionally see the signs.   … Civil Defense Logo (5 KB / 20 cm x 20 cm full-size / 2 colors) Another logo that might make you uneasy if you remember the Cold War: the Civil Defense logo used in the United States for many years. The last agency to use it was the FEMA, before it joined DHS and changed to something else.   … FORTRAN Coding Form (17 KB / legal-size paper (8.5" x 13.5") / 1 color) A historical souvenir of the olden days in information technology: A FORTRAN coding form, recreated from scratch to nearly duplicate a certain famous coding form published by a certain famous computer company. It should bring back memories if you were there, or it will amuse and surprise you if you weren't.   … Restricted-Area Sign at Nellis AFB (26 KB / 42" x 33.5" full-size, landscape orientation / 2 colors) This is a copy of the RESTRICTED AREA signs around the the Nellis Bombing and Gunnery Range in Nevada (USA), near the so-called Area 51 of UFO and Stealth-aircraft fame. It looks pretty cool if you print it out in color and tape it up on your wall or something. It is essentially identical to the real thing, right down to the fine print (look closely, and you’ll see). This sign is intended only for your personal use in decorating your home or office. It must not be used to fraudulently identify a location as a U.S. government facility. I don’t think any confusion is likely if you put it on your bedroom or living-room wall, though. This is also available as wallpaper in my Cool Wallpaper section. In addition, you can actually buy part of this sign (the warning notice in the lower right corner) from the Area 51 Research Center (no affiliation with my site), if you want. This version dates from about 1995. I still have the previous version online, if you want it. The new version mentions deadly force; the old version did not. I guess they decided to strengthen the language on the sign. Note: This sign measures 42 by 33.5 inches (106.68 by 85.09 mm), like the original sign. If you print it full-size on an ordinary desktop printer, it will print in pieces over many pages. If you just want a version that will fit on one sheet of paper, be sure to select the Shrink to Fit option when you print it from the Acrobat Reader.   … Periodic Table of the Elements (34 KB / 41x27 inches (poster size), landscape orientation / color) This is a poster showing the periodic table of the elements (through atomic number 112). It is designed to be 41x27 inches (104.14 cm x 68.58 cm) in size, but you can scale it down to whatever your print or display handles with Acrobat Reader. This poster is designed to be mainly something cool to put on your wall rather than a scholarly reference, but the information it contains should be correct. Please let me know of any errors you spot. This is also available as wallpaper in my Cool Wallpaper section.   … “Nigerian 419” letter parody (27 KB / 8.5x11 inches (letter size), portrait orientation / black and white) With so many Nigerian 419 scam letters floating around, I thought I would try a parody in the same style. Not sure I captured the style perfectly, but it is a fair first attempt. (Obviously, the letter is JUST A JOKE!)   … Radiation Caution Sign (13 KB / 30x30 centimetres, 2 colors) This is a warning sign for areas in which radioactive materials are being handled. It follows EPA guidelines (although I won’t guarantee conformance). It looks cool in your kitchen or family room.   … Radiation Warning Sticker (13 KB / 29x6 centimetres, 2 colors) This is a warning sticker for areas in which radioactive materials are being handled. It is in the yellow and magenta colors standard in the U.S. for radiation warnings. This looks great on your bedroom door, too—makes strangers think twice before snooping around.   … Radiation Danger Sign (15 KB / 297x420 centimetres (A3 format), 2 colors) This is a danger sign for areas in which radiation reaches dangerous levels. It follows EPA guidelines (although I won’t guarantee conformance). This discourages people from snooping around in your closets or desk, or whatever.   … Anduril Prescribing Information (46 KB / 108x250 millimetres, black and white) This is a prescribing-information product brochure for Anduril, a fictional anti-vampirism medication. This is a parody, intended solely for entertainment purposes, of course, but it looks like the real thing!   … Informational Brochure for Child Vampirism (79 KB / 108x250 millimetres, 2 colors) This brochure provides useful information for children with Acquired Pediatric Hemodipsia, a (fictional) disease commonly known as child vampirism. This is a parody of special-interest charities and interest groups, and is intended solely for entertainment purposes, of course.

French Stuff

These are assorted documents that are of interest to Francophiles, and perhaps French teachers in particular. Some of these are bilingual. All are free for personal or classroom use (in your own classroom—not resale or redistribution to others).

… French Keyboard Layout (1.9 MB / 762 mm x 584.2 mm full-size / color / English or French) This is a diagram showing the layout of a standard French PC keyboard (as used in continental France). It is poster-sized, but you can reduce it. I’ve prepared it with explanatory notes in both English and French. It’s a long download, so beware.   … Tiny French Flags (22 KB / 8.5x11-inch sheet / color) This is a sheet with sixteen do-it-yourself French Flags printed on it. Just print the sheet on a color printer, cut out the flags, fold them in half around thin sticks, and you have yourself sixteen tiny paper French flags.

American Stuff

These are assorted documents that are of interest to Americans or people interested in America or English language. All are free for personal or classroom use (in your own classroom—not resale or redistribution to others), unless otherwise indicated.

… American Flag (7799 bytes / 1219x696 mm / color) This is an American flag that you can print (with a color printer, preferably) and cut out. If you print the flag full size, it will measure about 117x66.5 cm (46x26 inches). To print it full size, you either need a printer that can handle sheets at least this large, or you have to let it print in sections. However, if you just want it to fit on the paper, use the Shrink to size option when you print in Acrobat Reader in order to make it fit on your paper (whatever the size). This flag conforms to the dimensions established by Executive Order 10834, by the way (just in case you have a government use in mind). This document is released to the public domain; you can do anything you want with it.

Essays

All documents in this category are copyrighted by me. If you wish to use them for any other purpose than your own, personal use, contact me first to ask for permission. I've dated most of them because some of them contain material that is regularly updated.

… A Brief Summary of the Rules of Chess (2001) (148 KB / 8.5x11-inch single-sided format, 7 pp.) A simple explanation of how to play chess, with diagrams in black and white.   … Euro Guide for the Blind (2002) (plain text file, 10 KB) This is a short guide to the European euro currency for blind and partially-sighted visitors to Europe. It is in plain text format in order to make it easier to read and run through a voice-synthesizer.   … Guide to the Paris Métro (2009) (168 KB / 8.5x5.5-inch “paperback” format, 36 pp.) This is the seventh edition (2009) of my guide to Paris mass transportation. It is a 36-page handbook that explains just about all you need to know to use the famous Métro system in the city and related systems. It contains useful information that I’ve never seen elsewhere (for some reason, instructions on how to use public transport in Paris are scarce—even in Paris!).   … Creating Your Own Web Site (2006) (376 KB / A4 letter format, single-sided, 44 pp.) This is a guide to creating your own Web site that I prepared as background material for a class that I taught.   … PC Printing: Current and Past Technologies (1998) (65 KB / Letter-size paper, single-sided, 7 pp.) A description of the leading technologies used for computer printing applications in both desktop and mainframe environments, past and present.   … Memory and Hard Disk: What’s the Difference? (2005) (53 KB / Letter-size paper, single-sided, 5 pp., illustrated) A five-page essay summarizing the key differences between memory (or RAM) and the hard disk in a PC, for non-specialists.   … Understanding Your Computer's Personality (2005) (67 KB / Letter-size paper, single-sided, 8 pp.) An essay that explains how a computer's operating system determines its personality, and what operating systems do, for non-specialists.   … Optimizing Your Computer Screen for Health and Happiness (2006) (74 KB / Letter-size paper, single-sided, color, 10 pp.) An essay explaining settings and characteristics of computer monitors and how to set them for maximum comfort.   … A Technical Summary of Film Photography (2001) (276 KB / Letter-size paper, single-sided, 21 pp., color, illustrated) An essay explaining the technical foundations of film photography from a photographer’s standpoint. This is a screen version of the essay, with low-resolution images; I have a high-resolution version for printing, if anyone is interested.